Prioritising Work and Letting go the Emotional Dimension
by Aurora de Souza Watters
Last updated 20 July 2026
ETHOS Digital Issue 10, Mar 2023
What’s Holding Us Back?
For many of us in the Public Service, the workday is full of meetings, endless emails, and a full plate of projects. But that full plate may not always be helping our team, department or organisation reach its goals. We can end up holding on to projects that are no longer relevant, or waste time on tasks with little impact or minimal added value.
From time to time, we need to examine the tasks we are spending time and energy on to see if they are actually contributing to our goals. It can seem counter-intuitive to do less so you can do more, but with prioritisation we can better focus our energies and resources on what really matters.
That said, cutting out-of-date, less important, historic, or no longer useful projects can be easier said than done. Sometimes, our reluctance to drop projects can get in the way of streamlining, prioritising, and new opportunities. We need to be honest about why we are struggling to let go of what is no longer relevant to our needs.
We may struggle to let go of projects, when:
We are emotionally connected to the project
Letting go may mean one is less important, valuable or needed
It feels like a waste of the time and energy already spent
We are afraid of the new and unknown
Cutting out-of-date, less important, historic, or no longer useful projects can be easier said than done.
Emotional connection to the project
Some projects have been with us for so long that it becomes a part of who we are. To get rid of it would mean changing ourselves! As a researcher, I jokingly refer to my research projects as “my babies”. While I don't actually view them as my children, it represents the emotional connection I have with them. Each project is a labour of love—I have devoted time and effort to them, and I feel proud of what I have produced.
While passion for one's work is good, it does mean that it can upset us when things go wrong, or when our pet projects have to be dropped. Many of us have experienced working on a project that we are deeply invested in, whether because we believe it can have a positive impact, that it can deliver results, or because we played a key role in its inception. When projects we are affiliated with are relegated to the chopping block, it can be dismaying, or even feel like a personal slight.
Once, a research project I truly believed in was sunsetted to make room for more relevant and emerging topics. At first I felt hurt, but in time I came to see that my energies and time were better spent on newer projects than on a topic that was no longer as useful. This helped to soothe the sting of losing a project I was emotionally connected to.
Letting go may mean one is less important, valuable or needed
There are times where everything feels like it is going right in a project—it is meeting expected deliverables; has been well received; the team is working well together—and yet you are still asked to let go of it. Such projects could have been deprioritised by bosses, stakeholders, or due to changes in circumstances (for instance, as a result of advancements in technology, more pressing emerging issues, or a pandemic).
It can be disconcerting to let go of a project that you value or which makes you feel valued at work. Our self-worth can become tied to the projects we work on, to which we have given our best efforts. This is particularly the case when we are the leading member of the project team, or the one with the specialised skills and knowledge needed for it. Some may also worry that they might not be able to contribute or prove their worth when priorities shift to other areas (such as when activities move from in-person to fully digital channels).
Consciously or unconsciously, such changes can make us question our worth as staff. Instead, we should learn to delink our self-worth from specific projects, realise that we can continue to contribute, by learning how best to apply our expertise and efforts given the new priorities.
Our self-worth can become tied to the projects we work on, to which we have given our best efforts.
It feels like a waste of the time and energy already spent
There are times when you realise that a project is not going to work, for a variety of reasons. No matter what your team does, or how much time and effort you put in, it is not going to achieve its desired outcomes, despite the best starting intentions.
The sensible thing would be for the project to be dropped. Unfortunately, we often succumb to the “sunk cost fallacy”: we often stick to our plans, projects, and commitments, even if they are not working, because of how much we have already invested in it, whether money, time, or energy. We choose not to recognise that we cannot recoup those spent resources, so we hold on, keep going, and often end up “throwing good money after bad”.
To change this mindset, we can approach work with more of a Marie Kondo attitude. Kondo, a popular Japanese organisation expert, recommends only keeping possessions that “spark joy”: as for the rest, she recommends disposing of them, after thanking them for their past service. Likewise, every project or process that has to be dropped once served a useful purpose or was an opportunity to learn. We can recognise the past value they brought, and then let them go.
By letting go of what no longer best serves us, we open ourselves up to new opportunities to succeed. We may have learnt better what to do or not do next time, or have a better idea who best to partner with, or how to design a more effective intervention.
By letting go of what no longer best serves us, we open ourselves up to new opportunities to succeed.
Fear of the unknown and of novel projects
Sometimes it feels easier to maintain the status quo rather than face up to change and the unknown. Change often means leaving behind what is comfortable and what we are accustomed to, for a future that has neither roadmap nor guarantees..
The known is predictable: we know what tasks need to be done, who does what, what success looks like, and what our role is, and we have built up habits and routines to help us get good at these familiar activities.
In contrast, sitting with uncertainty or facing up to change is unpleasant and anxiety-inducing for many of us. We ask ourselves: Do I have what it takes to succeed with the new projects? Will I lose control of the work I do? Will I end up with more work? Will I still have a role at all? This fear of the unknown and uncertain is common but it holds us back from growth, nevertheless.
Change often means leaving behind what is comfortable and what we are accustomed to, for a future that has neither roadmap nor guarantees.
Let It Go!
How can we get over these anxieties and emotional ties that can hold us back when projects and processes reach their end—so that we can keep going and growing at work?
Here are some tips:
Step back to the bigger picture
There are times where we are so preoccupied by the small details, we do not see the bigger picture. When we focus solely on our individual projects, we may not be able to step back and see how that project fits or does not fit into the bigger picture, or whether it furthers broader organisational aims or objectives.
We may need to step back, revisit our team’s aims and objectives, and our organisation’s mission and vision. When we take these into account, we may be better able to see how past projects may no longer serve our needs, and understand how to create space for opportunities that are better aligned with the goals of the future.
Start with the end in mind
When we start projects and form teams, we often forget to conceptualise the end of the project. All projects are temporary: they need a clear beginning and a defined end. We usually pay attention to co-creating aims and objectives, but frequently fail to define what it means to be done with a project. What would the finished project look like? How do we measure that the project is done?
Defining a project’s end and the milestones along the way can help us as a team progresses through the project. When we reach specific milestones, we can come together as a team, evaluate our progress, identify potential problems, and gain a sense of accomplishment for previous milestones reached.
This can be useful if the project has to end prematurely or does not conclude as originally envisioned. Even if the end point has not been reached, we can still identify what else we have gained from the experience.
When we start projects and form teams, we often forget to conceptualise the end of the project.
Look for the learning
When we think about outcomes of a project, we typically think about deliverables: but we should also consider the learning we can extract from the project.
We should plan for learning from the start of our projects, and put processes in place to support learning along the way. At the start we can set out individual and team learning objectives and priorities. We should review our performance against these objectives and create plans for their improvement, thus creating a continuous learning cycle.
These learning points should be conducted during the project milestones to review what has happened so far. This is when we might ask the team questions like:
What went right?
What challenges did we face?
What went wrong?
How could it have gone better?
What can we take from this project and apply to other work?
What are you taking away as a team member?
How has this project changed you?
Acknowledging the value of learning from a project can help us avoid feeling like a dropped project was a waste of time and energy if it did not meet the prescribed end point. The insights we can extract from the experience are invaluable: they can be applied to other projects in future.
This also means all projects are opportunities for growth and development—a chance to hone new skills or receive new insights—which can help reduce the anxiety we may face when approaching new initiatives or unknown circumstances.
We should plan for learning from the start of our projects, and put processes in place to support learning along the way.
Tie up loose ends and get closure
A common reason for finding it hard to let go and move on is because we miss the opportunity to experience closure: i.e., a sense of completion, in which equilibrium is restored and the tensions of the past are reduced or removed. When we have closure conversations, we can create ‘endings’ that allow us to acknowledge what has and has not been accomplished.
We can get that sense of closure by tying up loose ends, looking at our learning, ensuring that we have conducted the relevant knowledge management, and consulting and informing all relevant parties. We need to ensure that we involve all the relevant individuals including team members and stakeholders. We can also ask: Are there any other things that need to be done? Can any aspects of the project, from resources, manpower, materials, to information, be redirected elsewhere?
Finally, while it is important to highlight lessons learnt, we should also celebrate the end of the project. Celebrating with our team acknowledges the efforts we have made, the things we have accomplished, and the relationships and connections that have been developed. By tying up loose ends and celebrating what has been, we can address and acknowledge our emotional connections to the project, while being able to put the project to bed and moving on to something better.
To cite a popular adage: Don’t be sad that it’s over, be happy that it happened.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Aurora de Souza Watters is Senior Researcher at the Institute of Leadership and Organisation Development, Civil Service College.